Err, can I give feedback when I want to?

So I can be a bitch of a customer, but mostly not. Those moments are reserved solely when life is being a bitch to me. And this post is about one of those moments:

I lost my wallet and discovered that an hour later while I was snacking on the road. Frenzied track-backs revealed that I was indeed a pauper-for-now :( After some pouting and whining, it was time for some action. Other than money and some email addresses I'd copied on tissues from my trip to Thailand, the other valuable in my wallet was my bank card. So I called the bank and asked them to freeze the account. So far so good. Now this lady on the phone asked me if I would give some feedback about her to some other lady in the bank. 'It will only take a moment ma'am'. Ok I said, I've got a moment. Clearly this is where I made a mistake. I was harried as I had to get to the bank to fill up some forms for card-replacement and shouldn't have offered to do this, but I did.

So Lady No.2 came on the line, and started asking me questions about my overall helpdesk experience. 'Did you get through the first time?' No. 'How many times did you try before you got through?' Four. 'Was the voice on the other end a)Friendly b) Curt.....' Aackk, hold it right there! I can't answer these right now, can you call me some other time?' But ma'am it will only take a few moments. 'Was this the first time you.... '

So that was it. I can't replicate my conversation with the lady but I can assure you it wasn't pretty. Why are you throwing this at me? Where were you when I had to get a coupon at your bank and wait in line for 40 minutes to get a simple question answered? Where were you when I wanted to inquire about my account and your helpline just DID not get through? HOW can you ask for my time when I'm least willing to give it? Do you really care about my experience when what you offer more often than not is mediocrity? Go away you super-inefficient-but-pretending-to-be-so-caring-concerned-jerks. Get out of my face!

Woof!

Math Wrath

I can't believe I'm confessing this online, but I'm a math-dud. I just about scraped through exams in school (and yes I even cheated to get that pass mark!) and I 'dropped the subject' as soon as I had the choice, which was at the age of 16 and opted for Psychology instead. And till date the number-crunching crunches my insides. So what do I do? I avoid all things numerical. At discount stores i take friends who can do the calculation for me, so I don't end up paying 2, 550 instead of 25.50. I avoid doing that tax thing (see I'm also math-lingo illiterate) and lose far too much than I would if I DID do that tax thing, but hey! atleast I don't have to add huh? I actively avoid anything and everything that will make me smath my head against the wall.

So when I came across this blog, I was intrigued. Someone's actually having fun with this! And I spent a reasonable amount of time trying to understand these.... but my escapist self got the better of me and I decided to 'write' about it instead. I hope you can enjoy it though.

Ouch Potatoe

I spent yesterday in front of the idiot-box. 6 hours of non-stop channel-flicking, watching Erin Brokovich (which HAS to be the highlight of my TV-session given that I'd even forgotten what the case was about!), receiving many messages from well-wishing companies that I need soft hair gels and better skin, that packaged soups are really healthy, that if I don't invest in the future, I will surely die a poor death, that I really have to, need to change my brand of sanitary napkins and finally that I'm a loser if I'm not watching KBC in its all new SRK avatar.

I watched some commentary about celebrities, who was dressed how at what event? Who's hooked up with whom? Who has died? Was it suicide? I also watched some serials - stories about people living by the beach, their loves and relationships, their lives of working and aspiring, laughing and crying. sob sob. ha ha

Then there was some research on the telepathic ability of twins and how scientific research is trying to figure it out with wires, monitors and all...

Yes, some of it was useful information. But honestly, I felt wasted when finally I 'pulled the trigger' on the power button. What had I achieved? Nothing. Created? Nothing. What had it done to my sense of satisfaction and fulfillment? Nothing. What could I write home about (well, ok I don't write home that much, but anyway:))? Nothing.

For 8 years now, since I moved out of home I haven't had a TV. And I now know why this has been a gift. For one minute of value-viewing, I flush 30 down the drain.

Why am I writing this you wonder? Because I feel sorry... for me. For having done this to myself. I'm sorry Puj. I really am.

Gasp! That's right, you're in Bali

Bali is not a destination to be reached or a tourist-attraction to be visited. It’s a delight to be experienced. The million blue-hues of the sea and sky, the warmth of its people, the freshness of every sunrise can’t be duplicated in image or print. One has to go there. And just be.

You step out of the airport and the air that wafts into your nostrils informs you that you have arrived… ‘if there can be a heaven on earth, this is it' the air continues to tell you. You switch off and let the breeze caress your face. It’s warm and humid. ‘Perfect for a dip in the sea’ the air manages to interject. This time you’re listening :D

Although one can stay in Bali ‘forever’, for all practical purposes you need a minimum of 3 weeks to be able to accumulate all that Bali has to offer. The first week - dedicated to the wild white sands and wilder waves. Yes, just lie around on the beach all day and all night, swim into the Bali sea occasionally, walk with the waves lapping up at your feet, feel the texture of the sand between your toes, collect unbelievable washed-away shells, corals...

Week 2 - set out to sight see. And trust me, there is a lot to see, off-the beach also!. Ubud, for instance is a delight for the artistically inclined. The winding, hilly journey takes you to this homely village lined with handicraft, paintings, wood and stone carvings' galleries. Then there’s Tanah Lot, where an otherwise ordinary sunset becomes an unbelievable sight...

And just when you think that taking in the sheer beauty of the place would suffice, you discover the Balinese water sports!! From safe glass-bottomed boat-rides to para-sailing, from snorkeling to surfing, Bali allows you to reclaim your adventurous side!


Parting words? “Dive right in!”

Global warming: has it sunk in?

Februarys in Pune are usually cool. But these are not usual times. There were incessant rains in '05 and the winter of '06 never really took off. Other countries witnessed strange seasons as well. An Austrian friend exclaimed "This time there was NO winter in Austria, and I mean "NO" winter". And so it is with all nooks and corners of this beautiful world. This site has aptly captured our dire straits.

How far removed we are from this situation that is staring us in the face became clear to me in a conversation with a friend (lets call him FX). Here is how it went:

Me(complaining): This is unbearably hot for Feb. I wonder what April will look like...?

FX: Yea, its horrible.. I'm surely going to get an A/C in my house this year...

The hair on my skin rose... if he gets an A/C in his house, will next year not be hotter? If everyone simply starts looking at 'What am I going to do to get comfortable this year' will that not affect and destroy whatever is left of our equilibrium next year? Is it really that difficult to care about our own, very very immediate future?

Is it not time to take personal responsibility for what is happening? Can small baby steps not help towards bringing/restoring some balance?

It is unimaginable in how much nature has given...and given... will we ever "see" that and give something in return, in gratitude...??

Menstruate or shave?

Yea Yea I know one can't do both. This is my question to myself, IF I had the option, while traveling - would I rather mentruate like a woman or shave like a man?

So lets work out the options... as a woman, I'll be rendered ineffective for half a day, I will be dependably crabby and bite anything that comes in my way. I will probably postpone some trekking, drink a lot of warm liquids, sleep,wake up hungry and be ready to go wherever the traveller's path will take me.

On the other hand, as a man, its not really a 'we'll see when we get there' situation is it? I mean you "see" it everytime you look in the mirror, get crumbs off your face or reach out to get that fly out of the way. So I could either roam around like the local cave-man in full-babaji-type beard or go through the grind of setting up mirror-water-razor-foam-stable hands and work on myself for 15-30 minutes every other day.


Hmmm. For the 695th time, I'm glad I'm a woman...

Thailand Tales

Oh man! Oh man!

I went, I saw and almost conquered (my urge to settle down there! by the beach in a hut) Thailand and months have passed since I wrote about it!! In between I had an eventful time working in OIMR where I encountered my creating-designing-conceptualizing-ladder-climbing-fabric-chopping-idea-hopping-
floor-scrubbing self in a maroon avatar working 7 days for 4 months, sleeping little and dancing lots.

So the question of the moment remains: where do I start from? Do I even remember how I got to that island on the far east of the wonderland-called-Thailand?

Well to start with, it could have easily been called Thigh-land. The number of beautiful, picture-perfect, peaches-and-cream complexioned, petite and pretty women you see there, in the little-est of skirts and the slick-est of outfits, is breath-taking or breath-stopping (for men I reckon). Bangkok is the East-meeting-West in a dizzying combination. Age-old temples stand next to expressways and corporate high-rises, vendors selling walking-sandals park themselves outside shopping-malls selling Lamborghinis. Bangkok is a ready reckoner of how much westernization the east has experienced in recent years.

And then there are the islands: From the loud, chaotic, polluted city of Bangkok, to head for Koh Phangan (Ah now I remember how we got there… the Train Station takes you on a bus, yes that’s right, from the ‘train’ station you board a ‘bus’ that takes you– at breakneck speed, I feel compelled to add - to Surat thani from where a ferry - playing Thai pop music and Pirates of the Caribbean at the same time- brings you to Koh Phangan, and then non-hagglable-taxis deliver you to the beach of your choice) is a treat unto itself.

Haad Thien is a lesser known, lesser frequented, lesser partied-on beach in Koh Phangan and is one BIG postcard.....Everywhere you look, you will find the perfect composition for the perfect picture!
And once you’re there, your itinerary gets decided pretty much by itself :
Sleep
Swim
Eat and
Read (not necessarily in that order)
And that’s exactly what we did there. Trekked to the neighboring islands to explore eating joints - where I learnt that mushroom shakes are not REALLY funny-tasting milk shakes with mushrooms in them!!- swam to the little floating open-air platform a few hundred feet from the beach with a hammock, plonked on it and just relaxed till hunger woke us up.

And no, you don’t get bored because every time you look up, the sky is a different composition and every time you look down, the sea is a different mood. And if you look down-er, you will also spot schools of fish that are happily going about their business, sporting snazzy colours and designs. And this I could do, I discovered, for hours.

Books into movies

Ok, so firstly I refuse to understand why books are EVER made into movies. Every single person who has read a book already makes up a movie in his head. And in that, lies the director's dilemma... he can replicate the movie he saw in his head but the chances that it will resonate with a million other readers, are ... ahem, slim.

And I'm always disappointed with such productions - Bridget Jones Diary, The Bourne Identity, The Da Vinci Code and yes, recently Heidi - one of my favorite childhood reads.

Firstly, movie-Heidi has straight hair and book-Heidi has curls (ouch!). Movie-Heidi is older, more mature, book-Heidi the epitome of innocence (oucher!). The Alps were all wrong, Heidi's room up in the attic didn't come close to the romantic description of it in the book, the goats were too few. Peter's character wasn't given any time or effort. In all, it came across as a hurriedly compressed script and tackily shot picture. And though I cried in some places, it was more from the touching truth of the book than the representation of it on screen...

An experience like this just reaffirms my love for the printed word and how it should stay there!

P.S. Ok so I had a good think about this and to the director's credit, I admit it isn't an easy task. To convey and present every little detail and dialogs from a 300-1000 page book must not be a cake walk. So alright - at least they try... ;)

Guru - movie review

Guru definition: (Sanskrit) "Weighty one," indicating an authority of great knowledge or skill.

So then there you have it - the entire movie in a nutshell. The man who “lived” his name and lived it well – with grit, grandiose and utter aplomb.

Maniratnam (of Anjali, Roja, Bombay, Dil Se fame) keeps up with his reputation of touching on unconventional subjects with his latest work – Guru.

Gurukant Desai played by Abhishek Bachchan is a man of humble beginnings, who works in Turkey during his formative years and begins to understand and like how businesses work. On return he begins the uphill task of setting up his own business. Investments? No problem. He simply marries the daughter of the local money-lender who has enough saved up as dowry. So Guru leaves his village – with Rs. 25,000, a wife and a brother-in-law as his partner.

Bombay is nothing his simple mind imagined it to be. The doors of opportunity are locked and need grease of a different kind to open up. Not to be discouraged, Guru effortlessly hops onto the bandwagon and steers his way up, dismantling anything that comes his way – by hook or by crook and slowly builds his empire. He revolutionizes many business practices – one on hand bringing wealth to the public and on the other achieving impossible targets by tweaking the law or bribing officials. And as his business expands, Guru finds himself in the eye of a storm

The movie takes us through his journey and the relationships that form during it. The love he and his wife (Aishwarya Rai) share, the ‘father’ figure he meets in Manik Dasgupta (Mithun Chakraborty) and the animosity that builds between them later, the reunion with his dear friend from Turkey, the journalist who wants to take Guru head-on (Raghavan)…

The performers have been hand-picked and most of them do a swell job. Yet, the man of the movie-moment remains Abhishek who dons the robe of an uneducated, shrewd businessman with ease. His sneering, determined persona is convincing and awe-inspiring. Then comes his other half, Sujatha played by Aishwarya Rai. Their off-screen connection works wonders for their chemistry on screen and the love shines through. The steadfast way in which her character supports him is remarkable and touching. Mithun Chakraborty as the voice of truth of independent India does a wonderful job and handles the intricacies of his souring relationship with Guru very well.

And then there’s the music… A.R. Rehman is dependable in that way. He ensures you walk out of the theatre humming his heart-rendering tracks. Kudos!

Guru is a craftily created movie about a brilliant mind that made it big – judgments aside. And although it swerves right into melo-dramatic mode towards the end, I wonder which Hindi movie doesn't. So for all that it offers, Guru is worth a watch...

P.S. This review is also available on MSN India

Four reasons why I love Blogger!

1. It is absolutely idiot-proof: Yes I consider myself the ultimate idiot when it comes to all things online. But blogger makes it possible for anyone and everyone to ride this fun roller-coaster. Wheeeeeee :)
2. The help section rocks! Painstakingly created, the 'How To's are wonderful, articulate reckoners for bloggers. I'm perpetually lappig up some tid-bit from there. Thank you guys!
3. It is Google-owned: And I love Google - for its simple yet powerful and ingenuious ways of operating.
   
4. And last but not the least, its done up in my favorite font - Trebhuchet MS: Yeaaaahhhh!!!
   I simply love the roundness and friendly feel that Trebhuchet MS has and I'm happy I'm not the only one who feels that way

Celebration!

Vipassana's over. I step out of the Auditorium and stand atop the stairs... the warm stone under my fingers feels blissful. I look up and wonder what doesn't here.

The sky's blue is interspersed with blobs of white. The breeze fluctuates between mild and wild, the water underneath ripples, yellow-brown leaves diving into it, birds are in their regular
cacophony-mode.

Meditation inside and celebration outside? Or have I got it wrong? I shrug and head for Buddha Grove. My heart wants to dance right now. Philosophy can take a walk (or a dance!)

Music wafts into my ears and my feet break into a semi-run. I joyfully abandon my stuff on the side and plunge into the celebrations. The trees bend back and forth, the bamboos rattle, eagles sore high above... butterflies flutter and watch from a distance, maroon robes sway everywhere... I close my eyes and let my body move to the rhythm of the universe. Hands up, feet flying, spine curling and stretching. My eyes open and close, watching the beauty surrounding me and filling me up. A feeling of belongingness to the sky and the earth envelops me... I am celebrating!!

Sweating but refreshed, I'm done as the music mellows down and sit on the side.... the Grove is packed now with people dancing, enjoying their aloneness, their togetherness.. some with laughter, some silently..

Suddenly Osho's voice fills the air... ears are cocked and smiles are wide as celebrations soar to another level!

As his words fade away.. they play Alanis' Morisette's song 'Thank you'...

I get up.. my body sways, tears fall, I sing along, hands folded in gratitude...

"The whole universe is a dance. Unless you can dance, you cannot become a part of it. Meet this dancing universe in a dancing way! Go to this celebration in a celebrating mood!" - OSHO

Catching the sun...

The soft pink glow of the sky ushers me out of bed. Its time to catch the sun's hesitant entry into my life (which I might add is the best motion picture in the world!)

I step on the terrace... the nip in the air catches me unawares, the fresh cool air embraces my warm, fresh-out-of-bed body. Thank you God. Sorry for the lousy attendance all these years!!

The world, I can see is preparing for the arrival of the sun. Birds are
chirping, nudging, fluttering, shying away and into each other. The trees are beginning to unfurl themselves majestically. The mist decides its time to go... I perch myself on a wall - facing the hills where His Highness shall coyly peek first and blatantly stare afterwards. The pinks get pinker, the blue, bluer..... Everyone's ready.

And then, like a curious bride looking out of her veil, you see it....brilliant, bright, ethereal. strange yet like one's own. Little by little, it allows itself into our world.... I look agape as if I'm watching a sun-rise for the first time. Maybe I am...

And you are...??

Tickles will not necessarily be a funny blog. It will try to be though. But anything that has tickled the blogger's insides will be immediately put up here. This could be a travel anecdote, a movie review, a sudden pleasant/horrifying discovery about 'Who I am' or a coffee shared with a dear friend.

Osho on being asked once 'What is your message?' responded "Buddha's message was 'be a light unto yourself'; my message is 'be a joke unto yourself'". Hail thee my beautiful master - that's not going to be very difficult to do. Tickles is therefore dedicated to your funny bone(s)